I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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