just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Welp...herpes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
