in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
