Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
