found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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