Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
