come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
