Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
