So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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