Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
