There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
