i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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