There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
actually, I'm a sock model
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i think i just lost a toe
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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