Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize