I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
