Swine flu. Run for my life!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
What drink are we having for lunch?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
