Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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