We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
