I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
