he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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