So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
