Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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