He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
