I think I died a long time ago.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
