i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
sex in a hospital.. check
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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