You smell like stripper and shame
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize