In the future we'll all be gay
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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