can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
