im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
