Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
