As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
