Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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