its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
