I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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