She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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