I looked at my own cervix.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
