What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We just shotgunned beers for America
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
