Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
