If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
