I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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