Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
