What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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