It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
