I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
