bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
