Ambien. No doubt about it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
