no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize