Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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