you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
