I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
