I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
