In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
