She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
