just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
