I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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