ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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