let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
