Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
