This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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