I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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