Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
