What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wear drunk well.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
