Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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