yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't deserve a penis
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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