the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
